I think if this team was absolutely and completely honest with you, which we are, we would tell you that being a part of this trip has not been all it’s cracked up to be. It has been HARD. Not like World Race hard, but extremely difficult to pioneer.
When people look at us on this journey, they tell us how jealous they are of what we’re doing. Granted, it’s a really cool opportunity, but it’s nothing that anyone else couldn’t chase after. We struggle just like you and have incredible stories of hardship and overcoming things. The greatest storytellers have also been the deepest walkers of stories, and that’s incredibly true for us.
I think within crazy trips like these, you think everything is fine and dandy and planned and beautiful but it’s really not all that. We work really hard to get to where we are and we fight for these stories so that they are told in the most authentic and real and inspiring way. We desire to see changed hearts in a changing world to further encourage our brothers and sisters out here on the mission field.
We are seven very talented and creative individuals, and as a body we are probably unstoppable. Each one of us has strong points in these fields where we excel. We can encourage each other to grow in those areas where we are weak and become closer as a team and strengthen our overall performance.
When the lies come, as they do, it can be a quick and fatal downward spiral.
You can’t do this.
You’re not capable.
You’re not good enough.
You’re not talented enough.
Amateur.
Worthless and not creative.
I’ve dealt with a lot of that very personally. I am the youngest member of this team, and therefore deemed myself as less vital due to lack of life experience and creative experience. My mind was telling me I was worthless and incapable since before this trip began; that I couldn’t keep up and would fail the team by having nothing valuable to give. But those are lies, and the team has encouraged and pointed out to me the gifts I have to bring to the table; every bit as worthy and needed.
My role on the team is very important, as is every member of this team, and we cannot function without one another. This is a team of 7 not of 6 for a reason.
I thought that because I was not filming as much, or appearing in the stories, or fulfilling my duties as the Admin that I was deemed worthless and an noncontributing member. I was still very happy with whatever role I was given because I just want to best serve the team whatever that looks like. And because I’ve been dealing with a lot of things God has wanted me to process through on this trip, it has taken me away from my team and confined me inside of the walls of buildings, further pulling me into the trench of not contributing as a member of this team; a burden, in my mind.
The thing I’m learning is the growing pains of a calling. I knew when I heard about this trip that God was calling me to this as my next chapter, next step, next journey in life, but I didn’t know what it meant in the long run when it came to my dreams for my future. I still really don’t actually. And that’s been so hard for me under the circumstances of not feeling good enough or capable or talented for this trip, and also stressing about what my future plans should look like.
God’s been stretching me and growing me anyway inside of the hardships I’ve faced out here, each one of us has. While it may not be in connection with the project, His refining process is way better than anything else we may come up with or imagine for our journeys throughout life. I’ve learned so many things about myself and God’s love and faithfulness inside this journey, as well as every member of this team, and we are literally so grateful to be out here even though it’s not all we thought it would be.
This adventure isn’t over just yet, and the team has continued to encourage me to jump out of my comfort zone and try out the areas I want to grow in and that’s what I plan more to do in Myanmar this month! I’ve already been filming a lot more lately and was even lead shooter on a recent filming day! YEAH!
Just proves to show…your growing pains bring out the best results in you if you push through and remember who God calls you.
– Emily
